Imagery...5 Year-Old Boy Style...

Drew has been having difficulty falling asleep at night, so that in the past couple weeks he hasn't been succemubing to slumber until about 10:00 each night. This wouldn't really be a problem, except for him it means that, after the thirty minutes or so Dave sits with him and Ryan and the next thirty minutes he listens to books on tape (because he can't stand the quiet), he proceeds to patter up the hall every five minutes or so with all reasons he can't sleep. Every once in awhile one of us will sit with him longer until he falls asleep, but I think we're both past feeling guilty about not doing that every night - he's five, after all, we do spend time with him each night, and when we leave, he has someone else there ("I mean someone besides Ryan," he protests, often before we can even get the words out!). At any rate, sometimes I will massage achy muscles or let him use the heating pad, which does seem to help him relax and then go to sleep on his own, and this week I've also tried some mental relaxation techniques, hoping to give him some tools he can use himself. But this is how that's gone:

"Where's your favorite place?" I asked soothingly one evening as his eyes were closed, "A place you feel the happiest and most peaceful?"
He smiled. "A basketball stadium!" he offered enthusiastically.
"Okay, we're sitting in the stands after a game, feeling happy..." I began, trying to salvage this image, which seems more exciting that calming.
"No, no, no - I'm playing basketball with Tyler Hansbrough!" Tyler, if you do not know, is the University of North Carolina's star player, the National Player of the Year, and Drew's hero.
But this is not going so well! Somehow I try to have him refocus, so we try to talk about different parts of his body and how they feel in this happy place (after I try to have him just sit beside Tyler Hansbrough - a water break, maybe...)
His feet - "They have basketball shoes on them!"
His hands - "They're holding a basketball!"
Now he's more roused than before, and I kiss him goodnight, promising to check on him a little later. :-)

The next night, I tried offering the peaceful place myself. "Let's close our eyes and imagine we're on the Island of the Blue Dolphins." (He had been listening to the story on tape the past several nights.) "Let's think about how quiet it is there, with the trees above us, the warm sun shining on us, the waves washing up on the beach. Let's look at the blue, blue water, with the fish swimming around in it..."
"Devilfish!" he exclaimed, his eyes popping open.
"Okay, devilfish," I agreed. "Now close your eyes, and let's just watch the devilfish swim."
"No, I have a spear in my hand," he said, once again being drawn into the image in a somewhat different way than I had hoped. His eyes open again. "It's a long spear, with a seal's tooth for a point," and he proceeds to tell me in detail and at some length about how to properly construct a spear for the purpose of catching devilfish.

So imagery has not been working as far as achieving sleep goes, but I guess I can't fail to appreciate his vibrant imagination. And I can feel assured that should we ever be stranded on an island somewhere, he'll know how to catch fish!

How Does Your Garden Grow?

Well actually, I, who have whatever is the opposite of a green thumb, have had success this year with our garden (so far!), and it is growing quite well. We've had salad on three nights solely from my lettuce garden, and it's still growing - although it was raided today, along with some of the newly sprouted corn, by some of the chickens, and I lost a couple of my finest lettuces. :-( I guess I can make the sacrifice more or less cheerfully, however, if the pest-control mission I sent them on will eventually prove successful. (We saw not a single roach, and hardly any other insects, during our time at our Gray Court house, the backyard of which the chickens were allowed to roam more or less freely, so my theory is that now that I am seeing some unwanted guests here, letting the chickens out more often mights again be cheap extermination. But this IS the Midlands...) At any rate, everything else in the garden is growing fabulously, and I have high hopes for a good yield. As I mentioned, the lettuce garden has been doing well already, the peas are climbing fences, the tomato and pepper plants are thriving after being set in a few weeks ago, broccoli, corn, cucumber, and carrots are coming up at different stages, and there are even pumpkin vines coming up in a pumpkin patch we made near the barn. I planted watermelon and cantaloupe that haven't come up yet, and I still have to plant the green beans (around a bean tepee we're working on) as well as the strawberries (which I know I'm doing a little late, but we'll see...). I have things planted all over the yard, but these are some views of the main garden. (Don't make fun of me, those of you who are better gardeners!) :-)

Some Droll Characters :-)

One of our rabbits kindled last night, and we had to bring the two resulting babies inside to warm them (they were nearly frozen when Dave went out to check on them). I showed them to the kids this morning, and when Drew peered into the box, he exclaimed, "Aww, they're such droll little creatures!" I'd like to say I kept a straight face, but that was too difficult, and fortunately, he didn't notice my great amusement. I think he picked that expression up from Mr. Popper's Penguins, which he and Aimee just finished listening to on CD, and while "droll" probably would be a good description for performing penguins, I'm not sure it really applies to rabbit babies. Judge for yourself:

The last picture is from another litter that was just born this afternoon. All the babies, except one, whose rather bizarre deformities fortunately can't be seen in the picture, are healthy, and the first litter fed this morning, which is a good sign. Because of the stress and adjustment from the move, it's been months since we've had any babies survive past the first week, so we're hoping things will begin to change for the better with this round of litters.

We also have new chicks, though not ones our own hens hatched. I've been looking for blue-egg laying chickens, and we just discovered some at our local feed store. So here are our new Americaunas:

"How Do You Do It?" - Math Edition

I think we are all asked the "How do you do it?" question, whether as a mother of two, three, or four - or seven. :-) Well, here's a good example of how something - in this case, math - often gets done in our house. We had begun with other subjects, and by the time we got to math, the boys had already dumped out the contents of numerous toy bins, but mostly in their room, which was tolerable. Math is always a little tricky at best, because it's the subject that requires the most personal attention from me, and therefore it's the time when the little ones are the least supervised. Today was no exception, but I thought we could all sit together in Aimee's room and thus keep a watch on the little ones while they played in and between both their room and Aimee's room. Things began along these lines, the boys continuing to dump out toys and blocks - a sound that really tries my nerves! - but playing happily for the most part, until they began to carry the toys up the hall and into the living room. Then they began to raid Aimee's room, much to her distraction and annoyance, and to fight about one particular toy (Ryan wanted to play with it, Chase wanted to sit on it), then I heard the sound of glass, as they dropped toy soldiers into a glass jar. Naturally, each of these situations required intervention; every time I left, Aimee began doing something else, and it was more difficult each time to return her attention to the really riveting math lesson. :-) Finally, though, I finished the instruction part, and was able to hand her the workpage she could do on her own. I then started Drew on his math, and just when he began his page, Aimee brought her work out for me to check. She had omitted a difficult problem, so I sat down with her to work on it, at which she began protesting the unfairness of my correcting her work. How could I be correcting what she hadn't even done, I wondered, with an attempt at light-heartedness, but by then she was past good humor or even reason. Chase, who had wandered back down the hallway, emerged again at this point, carrying a dry-erase marker he had discovered in Aimee's room and with which he had decorated Aimee's bed, his clothes, and - "Look what else he did, Mom!" the DVR equipment in the living room. (I don't know how I missed him doing that one...) I secured the marker, thankful at least that he hadn't gotten around to eating it yet, and returned to helping Aimee. She was uncooperative and unhappy, and my patience was wearing thin. At one particularly trying moment, I snapped at her, feeling instantly sorry, but of course, she burst into tears and was quite past any assistance. We took a break for lunch, about five minutes too late, and I took deep breaths to exhale all the feelings of futility, and hoping, as I so often do, that the kids were able to salvage at least some useful bits of information, as well as some character-building material, from that chaotic session.

But for a more encouraging glimpse into our family life, our bedtime routine has been running especially smoothly the last few nights. Bedtime for us is one of those times which can either affirm our parenting skills, or highlight the weaknesses - lately, since things had been so busy in the preceding weeks, the bedtime routine was disasterous, and we were falling into some bad habits. I wanted to stop all that in its tracks, so several nights ago, I herded everyone into one room, the middle boys in their bed, Aimee reclining on a pillow on the floor, and Chase in my arms nursing, and I read a chapter from the book we've been reading together. This worked beautifully, and I have done it every night since. Ryan falls asleep listening, Chase falls asleep nursing, and I can spend some quiet time with the older two at the same time. The chapter-book reading time we had always cherished had become endangered in this past year - we used to read, and read, and read, every time I sat down to nurse whoever was the baby at the time, but this past year it's been so difficult to get the boys together and sitting still for any period of time. I was beginning to miss those quiet hours, and this has been a wonderful way to return to it.

An Apology

By, the way, I know I'm shamefully stealing ideas from other people's blogs. :-) Do forgive, those of you against whom I have trespassed. Jenny, you never need worry, because I could never match your creativity and skill. I love your new layout!

Soccer!

My posts lately have been way too long, I know, so this one will be short. We had another round of soccer games today, Dave and Ryan taking Aimee to the downtown field, and Chase and I escorting Drew to the much closer Lexington field. In past games, we've noted that neither kids are very agressive toward the ball, so we've worked at home on keeping their eyes on the ball and following their shots. It doesn't matter to me if they are good at soccer, or whatever sport they try, as long as they give it their all - and I was so excited today at Drew's performance. He was focused and very active around the ball, getting the ball up the field several times (just getting it near the desired goal is an accomplishment for his team!), and as a goalie, a position that usually tries his limited attention span, he was awesome! He made some really good stops, and he was so proud of himself. I wondered, too, if our experiment with eliminating artificial colors might actually be paying off. Perhaps his attention and focus is improving on the whole, which would be great for him.
There was a scheduling issue with Aimee's game, so we were able to drive down there and watch her play for a few minutes before her game was cancelled due to rain. She was not so happy with her performance, but I've seen her give it her all at practice, and she has a great time. :-)

Keeping the Flame Alive

I finally called Dave late yesterday afternoon and asked him more pointedly to come home instead of going fishing, and he agreed, without any apparent resentment. Sometimes we do have our miscommunications and disagreements, but he is a great guy, and I do love him. Here are some other moments of marital bliss I've been meaning to post:

A few weeks ago, when he was still taking his class, he came home from work, took a shower, then came out to watch the kids while I showered quickly before he had to leave for his class. I turned the water on, hopped in, and was greeted by a cute love note on the shower wall - written in blue bath crayon! - telling me how wonderful I was.


When going on a much-needed store run a couple days ago he remembered and honored my anti-Nestle sentiments and skipped over Juicy Juice boxes for another brand, even though the former were on sale. I don't think he knows much about the whys and wherefores of the Nestle boycott himself, but he was such a dear to honor it for me. He's so good about giving a nod to most of my concerns and passions, buying organic dirt for my garden and quietly submitting to my no-MSG campaign (even though I know he's sacrificing some familiar tastes!). :-)

AND - he fixed our online banking problem himself! I had spent most of Monday morning trying to work out the problem with the bank, who finally told me it was just going to take 3-5 more days, but then he came up with a very simple solution that now has everything up and running. Hooray for Dave!

Family Circle

I can't match Jenny's DH story - that was too funny! - but consider our current, and as yet unresolved, situation here. Dave sent me a text about an hour ago saying he was going fishing after work. I didn't respond. Usually when he announces his intention, rather than ask my opinion, it's a test to see if I will respond enthusiastically or with reserve, and because I can hardly ever offer the first, I opt instead for silence. Sometimes he presses, and a mild argument - the same one every time - ensuses, in which he states that he might as well sell all his fishing and hunting supplies, and I protest that he can't expect me to LOVE his hobbies. It seems reasonable to me that since I'm not (always) begging him to stay home, he should take what he can get. :-) Well, this time, I did happen to remember that we have soccer practice and Awanas tonight, so I called him to ask if he was going to be back for either or both of those events. This, admittedly, is my attempt at presenting facts and testing him to see whether he will come up with the right response himself. I think I cloak this in the idea that I'm trying to be open and flexible, while at the same time just letting him know what's going on. Anyway, he processed this information for a minute and then asked me if I really needed him for all that tonight. Well, in all fairness, I have managed by myself on more than one occassion, so I CAN do it, and I told him as much, although I also suggested that it wasn't really the best night. I finished by saying that I didn't want to tell him he couldn't go, but just to let me know what his final decision was. In my mind I am fairly screaming, "DON'T GO!", but I realize that he is probably not hearing the same thing. Sure enough, he said that he would probably end up going, since I could manage by myself, but - likely in an attempt to soften my anger, or at least delay it, he said he would just "see how the afternoon was going." Anyone else have similar conversations?

In the child-rearing arena, we are dealing with a few things recently:

1. Drew and his "I just couldn't help myself" problem, followed almost always by flippant impertinence (maybe that's redundant - I just can't think of how else to describe him behavior). An example happened this past Sunday afternoon. Dave had to work for a few hours but was on his way home shortly after lunch, so when Drew asked to go over to his friend's house next door, I said no. He had peeked out the kitchen door to convey the bad news to his friend, and when he came back in, he was holding some kind of sprinkler that he had picked up from the flower bed. It had a spike in it for sticking in the ground, so I told him to put it back where he found it. A minute later, he went out into the backyard with Ryan, and although I was nursing Chase down for his nap, I looked out the window to make sure they weren't getting into trouble. They appeared to be sitting peacefully on the trampoline (this should have clued me into something!). A few minutes later Aimee came running inside to say that the boys were putting a hole in the trampoline, with, you guessed it, the spiky sprinkler thing. Ryan was less culpable than Drew, certainly, but I sent both of the them inside - Drew to his bed and Ryan to the couch - until Dave came home and we decided an appropriate course of discipline. This was maddening enough for Drew, who loathes sitting still with nothing to do, but after Dave came home and assessed the damage, we also decided to ban Drew from the trampoline for a week. This still did not feel like enough for the disobedience end of the incident (for which Drew made rather weak excuses along the lines of "I just couldn't help it..."), but I figured that while it would take a day or two, he would eventually feel the impact, since he and his friends are on the trampoline all the time. We talked to him, explained what we were going to do, and warned him specifically against making any smart remarks, as he is wont to do. However, as soon as we said, "No trampoline for a week," he replied glibly, "How 'bout ten days?"
"How about two weeks?" I returned, as Dave and I both glanced at each other in amazement. While Drew really aims to please on most occasions and isn't by nature mean-spirited or disagreeable, his biggest fault right now is serious lack of judgement, so that he can come out with some really disrespectful and impertinent remarks. We are constantly cautioning him, honestly for his own sake, to keep his remarks to himself and thus at least appear to respectfully take whatever discipline must be doled out to him. I suppose it will come with time!

Ryan and his treatment of Chase- Dave declared in frustration yesterday that time-outs just aren't working to curb Ryan's behavior toward his little brother. Ryan and Chase adore each other, but it's true that the elder really does do some upsetting things - repeatedly and with glee - to the younger. Last night he was holding Chase to the ground and sitting on his head. (The mistreatment of choice is usually pushing Chase down rather violently. ) Now, this is a hot topic, and I have no wish to spark a heated debate in the comments section here, so what I'm going to say may be best left undiscussed in itself - we do not spank, and I have no wish to resume that practice. Since this is my own blog, I will go ahead and state my own opinion (while again asking that others gloss over the issue themselves!) that while I don't think spanking done correctly is wrong, I definitely do not think it's the only, or even the best, way. That being said, obviously Dave feels that time-outs are not enough. I love him so much for being open to new ideas and not just ignoring my feelings on the spanking issue, but I understand and share his frustration sometimes. Interestingly enough, I think Ryan misbehaves most when he needs attention, so time-outs may actually work against us and we may need to work most on anticipating and thus avoiding bad behavior, but at the same, time, there does have to be some kind of definite consequence for hurting his brother.

Everybody's whining - Again, proactive prevention may be the best thing; after all, you can't MAKE someone be happy, but how whining does grate my nerves! I feel I need a better strategy to turn the whining into normal voices.

Dinnertime silles -I know the family table should be a relaxed, happy place, but I still think loud, raucous behavior and the table is innapropriate. Yet the silles show up every night, and I cannot help the kids curb them. It's not that I mind them appearing, actually, just that when I ask the kids to calm down and try to redirect their..joy, they can't seem to stop. Is is just me being tired and grouchy at dinnertime? After awhile it sounds like I'm telling them not to be happy or to have any fun, and that's not what I'm aiming for. I did institute a "penalty box" for the potty language, in an effort to be fun and keep those words at bay at the table at the same time, and that seems to work most of the time, but the loud, shrill laughter is what really gets me, and that prevails, until I excuse offenders from the table.

This has turned out longer than I had meant, and I should give my full attention to the kids again (now that they're all soaking wet from playing in the water table!).

Another Chapter in the "Mom on Her Own" Saga, Part 2

Scroll down to the previous post for the first half of this story!

Thursday, however, dawned chilly, damp, and gray, and everyone's attitudes followed suit. I was inexplicably tired and irritable, Drew was weepy, and Aimee was...what only she can be when out of sorts, a force beyond all reckoning. We went outside in the morning to feed the animals and get some fresh air, since the afternoon promised rain, and Aimee insists (usually right as we are getting ready to start school) that she must have fresh air before being tortured with something like grammar (all of which she protests she already KNOWS, so WHY do we have to do it EVERY day...). Drew spent most of his time crying about not being able to find some obscure toy, and when it was time to go inside, you would have thought it was the most gorgeous day of the year from the way Aimee protested. Conditions did not look ripe for a productive school day! Nevertheless, we did get a few things done - and predictably, it wasn't all very pleasant, though the younger ones had a blast emptying book shelves and dumping out toys. I concluded the morning with a reading session on the couch while I nursed Chase (we're reading Ginger Pye, and I would love to put Books We're Reading on my blog the way Hannah has it, but I haven't figured that out yet...), and that was pleasant, even though though it seems it's really physically impossible for the boys to sit still. At any rate, lunchtime brought to my attention that there was hardly any food in the house, which would neccesitate a shopping trip. Yipee! I wanted to check my bank account, though, and just make sure there were proper funds in my checking account, so I tried to log on quickly to our online banking service before I made some lunch. Hmmm...a strange message popped up saying there were no accounts under my ID#. I tried a couple of things, then called the automated line, which didn't recognize any of the numbers I was feeding it. Panicked, and while hastily putting some sandwiches on the table, I called a local bank. Neither the friendly woman on the other end of the line, nor the woman she had call me back, could find any record of my bank accounts! They promised to help me figure out what was going on, but for about an hour it appeared our accounts had dissapeared, and I was frazzled, to say the least. Fortunately, they discovered the problem - a computer glitch - and assured me that I still had access to my funds. What relief! In the meantime, however, there had been gleeful chaos in the kitchen, and while I had physically been there, obviously I had been quite distracted mentally, so when I came to, as it were, I realized that the boys had been playing with cups of water and that Chase was now making a puddle of water green by stirring an uncapped marker in it. The rest of the house was a disaster, and it was a good long while before I could restore some order. Late that afternoon, amidst drizzling rain (which had led to the cancellation of Aimee's soccer practice, thank goodness), we ventured out on the shopping excursion, and I am so pleased to say that was actually a highlight of our day. The kids behaved very well, and at the checkout, when Drew was choosing some toys for himself and his brothers from the free toy basket, he emerged with three identical balls, with I thought showed careful thought and consideration. It doesn't sound like much, but I was quite proud of him. So home we went, in good spirits, to work on dinner. Ryan's good behavior began to take a downward turn at this point, though, and the evening was a wild one. By bedtime, Chase, who had borne the brunt of Ryan's impish spirit, was out of sorts and crying as I tried to help everyone get ready for bed, and Ryan, the imp himself, was testing every last reserve of patience I had left. I knew he was bored, tired, and in need of attention, but still, I was taking so many deep breaths I thought I might pass out, and I kept chanting to myself, "Gentle discipline, gentle discipline..." :-) I finally corralled everyone in my room to read a bedtime story, and Chase consoled himself there by emptying the contents of my lingerie drawer (at least someone had the opportunity to enjoy my lingerie!) and everything else in my jewelry armoire that he could reach. After the story - read in somewhat strained tones, I must admit - I tucked the older ones into bed, and as I was praying with Drew, Chase wandered into Aimee's room, and then back into Drew's, carrying a book. "Gook!" he announced with obvious pride. He held the book out to me, and repeated, "Gook!" Of course, we were all delighted with his new word, and suspended bedtime for ten minutes as we applauded him every time he said it. Ryan soon reminded us that he needed to go to bed, so I finally bade everyone good night, and the little boys and I went to the living room, where we snuggled on the couch and - don't knock my bad parenting here - turned on Survivor so Ryan would sit quietly and I could numb my brain while I nursed Chase to sleep. Ryan fell asleep in the space of about two minutes, and Chase followed soon after. Did I then diligently attend to the dishes and the general disarray over the rest of the house? Did I engage in some productive, refreshing hobby? Or even go straight to bed to get some much-needed rest? Of course not. I proceeded to further disengage from reality and any real mental activity by watching several episodes of The Office online before wearily cleaning up the bare minumum and falling into bed. Oh, well.
Friday was charged with the energizing hope Dave's arrival home. We did a little school, played with friends in the afternoon, and I restored the house to respectability. While Chase and I were making dinner, Dave called to say that he would be home around 8:00, which was a little dissapointing, but I decided we would have a movie night during dinner to help us through the next couple hours. The kids came in at one point and said that they had filled the water table with water and they wanted to know if they could get in it. I said no, but that they could splash each other if they liked. I quickly put dinner in the oven, cleaned up, then peeked outside to see the action accompanying the squeals of delight. Lo and behold, I saw Aimee in the water table, Drew in a sandbox they had also filled with water, and Ryan pealing off his clothes - with a dirty diaper underneath. I was as pleased about this as you can imagine, and I went directly outside to fetch Ryan, with instructions - given in no uncertain terms - for Aimee and Drew to hie themselves inside straightaway. As I was talking to them, Daisy (our dog) slipped inside the back door and raided the kitchen trash can. You could almost hear the death knell sounding for my sanity at this point, but we cleaned everyone and everything up, turned on the movie, ate dinner, and were finishing when Dave finally walked in around 8.
So we survived yet again - hope you all managed to survive this ridiculously long two-part post!
Oh, and the bank situation is not resolved after all. The bank assures me that the accounts are there and that my funds are available, but they can't bring up any information about my accounts, which leaves me feeling less than comfortable about the whole thing!

Another Chapter in the "Mom on Her Own" Saga, Part 1

Dave was out of town this week, leaving late Tuesday night after helping to get the kids in bed. He was supposed to have gone Monday, but it was postponed, and his coming through the door at dinnertime Monday was a very welcome surprise. But he did go Tuesday night, and I didn't get to bed until very late. About thirty minutes after drifting off to sleep, I was awakened by the sound of our cat, Mr. Tumnus, wailing loudly from the front bathroom. Backtrack: when we moved, we brought two cats with us, and after a couple weeks of trying them out as inside cats, we (I) decided that they were going to have to take their chances outside. In Gray Court, they were perfectly at home, roaming freely, but also spending a fair amount of time on our porch or in the yard (or even following us on our walks - it was so funny!); since coming here, however they've never seemed to feel comfortable, and we 've seen little of them. One went on a "roaming," as we call it, about three weeks ago and didn't come back, and we have thought the same of Mr. Tumnus on several occasions, but Tuesday evening when we were all enjoying the last hour or so of daylight, we saw him in the front yard, and Dave and I agreed that we would de-flea him and give him another run inside, for the kids' sake. We put him in the bathroom for the night, in order to keep him out of mischief while he adjusted to being back in the house, and he made nary a sound until after I fell asleep, which brings me back to my story and the wailing. After a few minutes of it, I let him out, whereupon he began cruising the house meowing all the more and eventually waking up Chase, who was delighted and wanted to play with the cat. I wanted to escort Mr. Tumnus outside immediately, but I knew the kids would be sorely dissapointed, so I bore with it the best I could, managing to coax Chase back to sleep and thereafter savoring the little sleep I could that night.

I thought Wednesday would thus be a very hard day, but we actually fared well enough, the only incident worth mentioning occuring when I was feeding all the outside animals. Chase was with me in the rabbit barn, but when I stepped into the shed to get some feed (I'm serious - I wasn't gone much longer than it took me to type it), I came out and discovered him all the way up the step-ladder and half-way into the trampoline. This is why I can't get anything done these days! We did make it through thr rest of the day, however, even getting through Drew's soccer practice and then Awanas that night. It was another late night, both for the kids as well as for me, and after cleaning up the kitchen, folding some laundry, and collapsing on the couch ,I eyed the restless-looking Mr. Tumnus. He meowed plaintively at me, and I decided I couldn't take another night like the previous one, and that there thus was nothing to do but let him out for the night. He departed gladly, with not a single regret on my part. I knew, however, that Aimee, who had definitely been obsessing over him since we let him inside, would be furious upon discovering his absence, so I wrote her a note explaining that I had let him out, but that he could come in the next day - also asking her to wait until I woke up in the morning before she "discussed" it with me. I taped it to her alarm clock and went to bed...only to be awakened at 2:30 by a tearful, indignant Aimee demanding to know why I had let him out. "Didn't you read the whole note?" I asked. Well, she "just..couldn't...bear...it..." So we ended up having the discussion in the middle of the night anyway. :-) She calmed down, however, and agreed to go back to sleep, after which it seemed everyone slept very nicely.

I am going to put the rest in a separate post, to help prevent extreme eye-glazing...