Midwest Homeschool Convention - Part 2 "In Which We Learn Things"

It's likely no one is dying to know what I thought of the convention session I want to, but I thought I'd share anyway. At the very least, it will be like my fellow warrrior mother Lisa and I are comparing notes, since we can't actually do so over coffee and chocolate. (A fact which makes me sad. Let's go have a spa weekend together or something! Hey, if we're dreaming, we should dream big, right?)

I mentioned in my last post that I had been very excited to see Susan Wise Bauer and Andrew Pudewa especially, and they were the first two sessions I went to on Friday morning. First, Dr. Bauer gave a talk about teaching writing from grades K-12, and while it was nothing I didn't already know, as a loyal follower of her material (we even use First Language Lessons, although I don't usually repeat things like "a noun is a name of person, place, or idea" as many times as Dr. Bauer's mother, who wrote the book, suggests we do). I know all the whys and wherefores of copywork, dictation, narration, outlines, etc.. But it was so good to hear her affirm in person that laying the foundation in this way is important, good, and the best way to achieve good writing skills in the end. And in the next hour, Andrew Pudewa reinforced this idea of laying a good foundation in his session "The Four Deadly Errors of Teaching Writing," which was great for teaching writing, of course, but really applied to so much more. (If you want a more detailed explanation of his session, you can find it here. Honestly, I was in and out for some of it, with a restless toddler, but I what I loved most was his assertion that you can't help a child too much, that this idea of forcing them to be independent and work it out for themselves is counter-productive. Of course when I heard him say it like that, it made sense, since in other aspects of life we believe in letting children take their own steps toward independence and not forcing it on them. He said that often teachers, including homeschool parents, want to use the "sink or swim" approach, but that if we use such an approach in teaching swimming, most kids would actually die. In fact, we overteach swimming to kids, and hang on to them until they are the ones to push away. We can do the same with teaching, and they will be able to do work on their own, and will let us no in no uncertain terms when they're ready. The other point he made that I needed to hear was that children need clear and specific instructions in their assignments. Broad, vague instructions are unfair to the student and frustrate, if no completely impede, the writing process. And you know what, dear parents, if you don't understand the assignment or wouldn't want to do it, don't make your kids do it! That was great.

I went to a Christopher Perrin session later in the day, but wasn't able to hear much of that one, only enough to make me want to see him the next day. But I started the next morning with Susan Wise Bauer and Andrew Pudewa again, and once again, it seemed that their sessions were similarly themed. Andrew Pudewa talked about Teaching Boys and other Children Who Would Rather Build Forts all day, and unfortunately I only got the first of that one, in which he discussed the different ways in which boys and girls hear, see, and interpret,. Of course, I knew all that, but it was interesting to hear some statistics, as well as his own amusing anecdotes. I heard more from Dr. Bauer next, who talked about Homeschooling the "Real" Child (i.e. the child who is distractible, argumentative, poky, or vague). Since I have several different personalities here, that was good to hear. She explained that those "problems" in  children are often just symptoms of frustration, and she gave good tips on how to provide a learning environment that better suits their needs. I loved that she discounted the notion that assignments should be used for character building, and that she reminded her audience - with  thinly veiled frustration on her part over the obedience-heavy parenting seminars often found at Christian homeschool conventions - that children are people, not robots, and that often if they are arguing over a math assignment, it's just an argument over a math assignment, not a symptom of large-scale rebellion. Later that afternoon, I went to hear Christopher Perrin again, at his session about the "Lighter Side of Education." It was thoughtful, full of conviction, and encouraging. He talked about returning to meditation on God's Word, on holding on to the wonder of the world that kids are born with and taking that wonder on the natural path to worship. He talked about true learning, the kind of learning that has nothing to do with preparing for tests and training workers, but which cultivates the soul and prepares ourselves and our children for shaping the culture. It was really wonderful.

These speakers are quite successful in their respective fields and are proponents of true academic excellence. But they path they each recommend in acheiveing that excellence is one of joy, peace, mutual respect, and true learning. They each denounce imprisonment and tyranny, words that Andrew Pudewa actually used about modern education. Christopher Perrin added to that idea when he said that our modern education actually kills the wonder of the world in children, so that by seventh grade are so, we have schools full of hardened cynics. None of them said that teachers don't work hard, or that teachers are at fault, by the way, so no one needs to get ruffled feathers about that. I can't really offer an opinion about what public school teachers can or should do to work against the system, or about what public school parents can to do combat a system of imprisonment. Homeschooling parents, by the way, can imprison their children, too. They can break their wills and crush their spirits as well, with a tyranny that only looks different because it's at home, but is in fact part of the same twisted philosophy of education. In any case, the facts are there - what each person and family believes they can do about it is up to them. All I can offer is what I know should be true about homeschooling, and what the sessions at the convention this weekend reaffirmed for me - homeschooling should be about freedom to pursue excellence. (It's interesting to me that people seem to have a hard time with this "less is more" concept, and tend to see freedom and excellence as mutually exclusive.) Homeschooling should be about nurturing children's minds and souls, so that they grow in the way God designed them, so that they connect with this huge and complex tapestry that is our universe, the one that is so much bigger and better than this teeny, tiny box that is our relatively new modern educational system. It should even be more than trying to fit our kids in the mold of modern homeschooling "ideals." What are we after, anyway? If we are after true learning, real school, actual excellence, we will let go of fear and stop comparing, we will hear our children, we will embrace joy in learning, both for ourselves as well as for our children.

Midwest Homeschool Convention - Part 1 "In Which We Go There"

The first time I went to a homeschool convention was before I was even officially homeschooling, when Aimee was just a baby. I think I was visiting my parents that weekend, and my mom suggested we go, so we went for a while one day. I went to at least one session, walked around the exhibit hall, got some ideas that I eventually used in our early years of homeschooling. But I didn't have a burning desire to go to a convention every year, so I have blissfully skipped out on convention-going for the whole of our homeschool career. Until this year. My friend Stacey hounded me for weeks (and i say that in love, of course!) about going to the Midwest Homeschool Convention, and I hemmed and hawed about it. But then when my friend Christen, who has not yet begun homeschooling her little one, reacted with excitement when I mentioned a homeschool convention ("They have conventions?! Let's go!"), I finally gave in. Ok, fine, so I'll go.

So we went. Dave couldn't go with us, but we booked a hotel near Cincinnati, and I dragged five children, a number of books and Lego pieces (why do they insist one bringing seemingly random pieces that are of great value to the owner, but which get so easily lost?), a large cooler so that we wouldn't break the bank on eating out, two large suitcases, and who knows what else down there to do this convention thing. The look on the faces of the hotel clerks as we marched back and forth in front of the desk, hauling all our stuff - and little boys ocassionally dangling on the cart like monkeys - was really great, by the way!

We arrived on Thursday afternoon to go to a session by a Creation scientist, something the kids were quite excited about. I ended up pacing the hall outside with some pretty rowdy little ones, and at the time, we seemed to stick out like sore thumbs. Really loud sore thumbs. There were a number of famliies with boys in buttoned down shirts and girls with neatly braided hair, all of whom sat quietly in rows, but there weren't any other kids wrestling in the hallway, except for some of ours.But the ones who sat throught the session very much enjoyed it, and we all looked forward to an early day on Friday, when there some sessions the older kids anticipated, a children's conference for the younger boys, and sessions about which I was extremely excited. I was going to hear Susan Wise Bauer, whose book and educational philosophy has been hugely influential on our educational journey.

And Friday was a great day - exhausting, as I walked that convention center all around more than once, including up and down, sometimes with an overloaded stroller, sometimes with several small children (on their breaks from their conference) - but mentally and emotionally refreshing. I heard Susan Wise Bauer, who didn't disappoint, and also Andrew Pudewa, whose session was about writing, but applied to so many other areas as well, and was quite encouraging. After lunch (in downtown Cincinnati, which, in retrospect, was perhaps not the best idea) we all went to hear Jim Weiss talk about Sherlock Holmes and then tell one of the mysteries. With the lights dimmed, and his great audio-book voice , it was a lovely rest time. Or it would have been, if Chase hadn't been perversely attempting to wake up his napping sister by loudly whispering her name at intervals. Later, after I deposited him back at the children's conference, I listened to Christopher Perrin talk about The Intellectual Virtues, but I couldn't stay long in that one, as Scarlett was a bit restless, but I heard enough to determine that I would try to hear his session the next day. In the meantime, Aimee and Drew spent the day meeting up with friends and listening to their own sessions. Aimee enjoyed some of the Teen Track sessions dealing with worldviews, and also sat in more of Jim Weiss' session. Drew drank in the sessions by Creationists, soaking up information about design in nature and even cosmology. He was enthralled.

We were there on Friday for about 12 hours, and overall, the kids did wonderfully. We were SO tired by the time we got back to the hotel, and excited to see Dave, who met us that evening. We were a little slower in getting up the next day, but we made it to the sessions we wanted to that day as well. I got in some more of the same, really - Susuan Wise Bauer, Andrew Pudewa, and Christopher Perrin, but all such good stuff  and what I really needed to hear. I had intented to use this post to talk about some of what they said, but I will have to make this a "part one", and will have to create a "part two.!" We didn't stay as long as we had orginally intended yesterday, because by mid afternoon, we were exhausted. Drew would have stayed all day, though, and we ended up buying a book about the fossil record, to convince him that it would be ok to miss a late session on the same topic.

Oh, yes, and the exhibit hall. I visited some booths I wanted to see, and I did buy something from the Rod and Staff booth - just a grammar book I needed - but beyond that, I found the exhibit hall just overwhelming. I walked quickly past those vendors that, with over-large smiles and advancing posture, seemed as though they wanted to devour me. They would have been disappointed, anyway, since I am not a curriculum junkie. I didn't mind booths that existited simply to serve, but I was hugely annoyed by those that commercialize homeschooling and prey on the insecurities of homeschool families. But that's another post altogether, one which I don't intend to write.

In all, we were all glad to have gone. The kids are already talking about next year, and I'm making mental notes about what to do differently. Take husband. Take more money (to buy things I really need, that are often at special discount there). Get a hotel in the city so I can stay late. We'll see how all that works out. But even if it doesn't, I probably will find a way to go again next year, because it was worth it!

What If

My mom brought my grandmother and some of my nieces and nephews for a visit last weekend, which was wonderful, and one night, she and I stayed up late watching IndoctriNation (I hesitate to mention that I own and really like that documentary, because just saying so will probably create controversy, but this is my blog, so...that's just that) and talking about homeschooling and parenting and how there are no guarantees, whether you do everything just right (if that were possible) or not. We mentioned one of my kids and his penchant for science trivia, how he seems he could be on a path to success, but...what if he isn't? What if his path turns toward a life we couldn't have imagined for him, and not for the better?

And I thought about that again this past weekend when he planned a family sunrise service for Easter morning. He selected hymns to sing and a passage of Scripture to read, and I loved seeing his heart. A family member once said she thought (and hoped, I think) he might become a pastor when he grows up. You know, I confess that made me feel a little ill. It's such a huge responsibility, with such potential for attack. I don't really want that for him. But it's true that he loves God's Word already and that he has a certain amount of spiritual knowledge and discernment that could lend itself to some sort of ministry. He seems to have so many possibilities. He's so smart, he has deep faith - he has all kinds of potential.

But what if?

What if he makes choices that derail the potential, that turn his path, that seem to undo the virtues and character we are working so hard to build in him? What if any one of my children choose a different life than the one we hope they each have? What if there are disappointments, great or small?

What if it seems we have failed?

It could happen. It does happen. Godly parenting, no matter how close to perfect it seems someone might get it, isn't a guarantee for godly children. Homeschooling isn't an infallible recipe for academic or moral "success." Sometimes our children will make choices that are different than we had imagined for them, whether that difference is just a matter of opinion or one with much greater implications. I know this is true. When I think about it, it hurts my heart to wonder about it, especially to wonder, which one? Which one might stray, even to the point of leaving the faith?

I can't really answer the "what if" sort of questions, not completely, because we're not there yet. We can still just cherish the potential. But as I thought about this yesterday, watching my son's passion for his faith (his young, untested faith - I know, I know), I had to check that fear and wondering. It's not bad to have dreams for their future, and it would be sad and unnecessary, on the other hand, to turn hard and cynical about all the unhappy possibilities. So I think, as in most things, we have to strike a careful balance. Enjoy watching the potential in our children, dreaming about what kind of fruit it might yield later - but not placing our trust in those dreams. Teach them, hope for them, pray for them - but know that they belong to God. And in the meantime, just enjoy who they are right now. This particular son won't always make the right choices, and he may even make some heartbreaking ones later. Oh, I hope he doesn't! I hope he does make the very best of what God has given him. I hope he gives his future to his Creator, as well as the present. But since all I have is the present, I can enjoy that now wholeheartedly. I can listen to his string of "Did you know?" questions and answers, and love that about him now. I can see his faith, and love that, too. Who he is right now is a smart, interesting person.

It's easy as a parent to look ahead, to pour so much of ourselves into the future for our kids. It's easy to miss what's happening in the present, and that's certainly true of homeschooling. The potential for disappointment can be great, if all we are working for is academic success and spiritual fruit. We may get that, and we may not. It's not that those are wrong things to hope for, of course, but in the planning, hoping, praying, working, I would encourage us all not to miss what's good about the journey. Are our days (overall) peaceful, enjoyable ones? Do we enjoy our children just as they are right now, without strings attached? I hope so!