Open Doors, Closed Doors...and Everything in Between!

I remember listening to a missionary once talk about how he came to a crossroads in his life and wasn't sure which direction he should go. As he prayed about it he decided that he would just walk through the open doors and ask God to close any that were the wrong ones. I liked that idea, and ever since, when I have the presence of mind to remember it, I have tried to follow that principle. I have found, however, that while sometimes open doors are in fact wide open, some appear closed but are unlocked - and therefore count as open because you just have to make the effort to turn the handle - and some are locked, but if you are handed a key before you walk away, they also count as open doors. So the theory becomes very muddled! The element of patience comes in, at least, and that can be hard. The point of all this is that our offer on the house in Lexington was rejected - not because another offer was accepted or because ours wasn't acceptable, but because the owners decided they aren't ready to move yet. Our offer is still on the table, though, until we find something else or until they decide they're ready, so technically the door has neither been open or closed. Hmmm. That house was going to be perfect for us in so many ways, and one way was so important that we aren't even sure if we'll be able to purchase another house right now. Renting again seems a really depressing option - I can't imagine selling our lovely little house and land just to go back to living in someone else's. Of course it could be a moot point if things don't go well with the appraisal and inspection this week, and then I won't know how to feel. If the house appraises for less than our asking price, we're in trouble for a long time - who knows when we could move! But if all proceeds well and we must make a quick decision about where to go, we might have to settle for so much less than we had hoped. So I keep coming back to that house. If only...! Yes, I know God may have a better plan. Or it could be that we who have sometimes sown idiotic decisions may finally have to reap the reward of idiots. :-) That is my fatalistic self talking, when I know that the Lord shows mercy to all and has never given us over the the full consequences of our stupidity. He has always been good to us.
So we will keep lookimg, all the while praying that He will open the door to that particular house, or that He will shed light very soon on the better path. Most of all, I am praying that He will have mercy and more mercy on us. We are all very tired and stressed, which has been telling on us this weekend. Yesterday we were all felled by the same aches-and-fever virus that Ryan must have had earlier in the week (so sorry, Jenny, if we passed this on to your household at the party - we had been free of fever for over 24 hours, so I thought we were clear). Fortunately the worst of it was over quickly, but Chase had a very bad teething episode right as my fever reached its peak. He might had the same thing we had, actually, although he never had a fever, but whatever it was had him screaming inconsolably from 9 to 10. I felt like lifting my head was a challenge at that point, but I summoned every ounce of strength and paced the floor with him, after discovering to my chagrin that he refused to nurse. Dave took turns with him, but this caused even louder screaming, and didn't seem to be doing much good other than letting me rest my throbbing head. When Chase finally succumbed to sleep in exhaustion, we went to bed, but he had similar screaming bouts off and on until after 12. So now everyone feels better but me! My fever is gone, but my head and eyes still ache, and, almost needless to say, I am still in my pajamas. I was going to try to go on with school as usual this morning, and when Ryan began waving "A Bug's Life" at me, I almost gave the standard, "No, dear, it's a school day." But reason won out and I declared it a sick day, at least for the morning!