Book Review (And Some of My Own Rambling on the Topic)

A couple days ago I finished Pushed, a book about maternity care in the United States. Since The Business of Being Born came out, I've recommended that every woman, at least, see it in order to be aware of what's really going on with maternity care in this country (and also to be aware of why it matters!). It gives a good overview of things, packed into a reasonable amount of time. Pushed is a more detailed account of that information, requiring more mental energy and more time - but worth it for anyone remotely interested in the way babies are brought into the world in our country. I didn't love the writing style - something about it felt crowded, with names and facts almost in a jumble on the pages - but I did find it to be a sobering read, one that touched deep personal emotions of my own. I nearly cried reading about some of the births, in some instances because they paralleled some negative experiences I had myself.

I heard about the book from one of my sisters, and when I was finished, we texted back and forth a bit about it. In one text, referring to the impact medically managed birth can have on the bonding process on so many levels, she said, "It makes sense that so many moms are detached, and that detached parenting is so prevalent." I thought this was a good point, one that can help to highlight just why the birth experience matters. I truly believe what happens at birth can filter throughout the entire mothering process, and not only that, but that how birth is handled on a social level can impact parenting throughout the society. (Major disclaimer: I am NOT in any way saying that mothers who had hospital births, epidurals, cesareans, etc. don't love their children. PLEASE don't read that anywhere between the lines.)

A medically managed birth usually tells a mother that she's probably not good enough to bring a baby into the world on her own, and that her instincts aren't reliable. Furthermore, it tells her that danger is always around the corner, and that if she doesn't heed the "experts," she's putting her baby's life on the line. And finally, it robs her of the natural rush of "love hormones" that help her bond with her baby and give her that first boost of confidence as a mother. Of course there are many factors about the mother/baby relationship that can overcome this experience, and people are resilient. But in mothers individually and in our parenting style collectively we often see this lack of confidence, lack of trust in the natural process and in our instincts, and truth be told, the kind of detachment my sister mentioned.

On the other hand, the kind of birth the author calls a physiological birth, birth without unnecessary intervention, is the kind of birth that empowers a mother. She responds to her body and her baby, she reaches to the very depths of her being both physically and emotionally, and she emerges victorious, rewarded at delivery with that rush of oxytocin that helps bond her to her baby in a way that can't be duplicated. A birth experience like this tells a mother that she can do it. Obviously it doesn't mean she won't ever experience self-doubt, but it is such an important first step in her mothering journey, one I wish so many more mothers could have. I wish they could hear, from their attendants as well as from their own bodies, "You're amazing, you're capable, you're enough for this. You can do this." I wish they never had to hear things like,

"You're too small."

"You're not progressing fast enough."

"You're not pushing right."

"Screaming like that doesn't do any good [even though it's the Pitocin we gave you that's giving you those horrific and nearly unmanageable contractions]."

"[Because I don't think you're sufficient to deliver your six and a half pound baby on your own, and because I'd like to move things along by a few minutes] I'm just going to make a little cut [that I won't think about ever again but which will result in an horrible tear that will affect you for the rest of your life.]


Birth matters. The way it happens matters to women and babies, not only at delivery, but for years to come. I wish more people realized its impact and knew the truth about the negative impact medically managed birth can have. So style notwithstanding, I give a thumbs-up to this book for seeking to illuminate that truth.