A couple nights ago, we had sauteed flounder for dinner (which, by the way, the kids all LOVE, so which I will keep making at least once a week until that is no longer the case). Some of us like a splash of lemon juice on our fish, and so as one of my boys tried to pour just a bit on his piece of fish, he actually spilled a good deal more of it all over his plate. And I have to admit, Dave and I started to correct him, almost reflexively, and the child in question started to berate himself at the same time. But I stopped, and said, "It's ok, it's no big deal. Let's just clean it up and move on. Really and truly, if pouring too much lemon juice is the worst thing you ever do, that will be GREAT!"
We all laughed. He ate his fish anyway, extra lemon juice and all. And that was that.
I know it's hard not to be overwhelmed by all the little irritations like this - all the spills, bumps, and noises. I know that saying things like, "Stop, don't, be careful, not too much!" can become automatic. Trust me, do I know! But I know it's also good to remember what really matters. And does a little lemon juice matter? At ALL? I think it's a small price to pay for my son to have a taste of grace, to be able to make a small mistake without being corrected, to be a child who is just a child.
And again, if I look back on his childhood and it turns out that using too much lemon juice was his worst mistake, his greatest fault...well, even then, I think I won't regret not adding the unnecessary reminder to "be careful next time." Because I think he'll probably make bigger mistakes. I think I'll need to offer correction and discipline at times - and hopefully I'll be able to offer grace and mercy as well.
But in the meantime, lemon juice is just lemon juice.
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