Some Thoughts on Homeschooling -Proceed at Your Own Risk!

Recently a friend shared this article about homeschoolers, and it inspired several channels of thought on my part...about which you now get to read! This line in particular struck me - "And, proponents say, the home-schoolers of yesteryear, stereotyped as socially awkward, religiously dogmatic and ill-prepared for the real world, aren’t representative of current home-schoolers who more closely mirror the mainstream."

My first thought...well, no, actually my first thought was something like, "Hey, 'homeschoolers of yesteryear' means ME! I'm not so much less cooler than today's homeschooling kids!" And in fact, we had a great network of people in our homeschool support group when I was growing up. I'm not sure that the dynamic of camaraderie that we had can even be duplicated by homeschool groups today . That was pretty cool. We were pretty interesting, well adjusted people. (I think we're still interesting, well-adjusted people!) So I felt rather miffed at that insinuation.

But anyway, I didn't linger on that too long. My next thought was that articles like this keep appearing; this isn't really news, is it? And yet, it must be necessary that they do, because we're still asked questions such as, "How do you know they're at the level they're supposed be?" and, the all-time favorite, "What about socialization?" Still. It seems ridiculous to me, because it seems like we've proven ourselves through this method of education by now, but apparently there is indeed still a stigma to overcome. So a part of me applauded this nod to the normalization of homeschooling and homeschoolers.

But then I thought about how unfair that is that we have to keep explaining and justifying ourselves, about how unfair it's always been. Aren't there "socially awkward" people from every kind of educational system, not to mention people who are "ill-prepared for the real world?" It seems to me that there a fair number of these kinds of people who are products of the public school system - and yet parents of public school students aren't regularly challenged about whether their children will turn out socially or academically stunted if they remain in the public school system. So why is this a stigma attached only to homeschoolers? And why, for that matter, is the public school standard the one we're aiming to achieve anyway? What does define "normal" within this topic? The article offers as an example of socially "normal" a teenage girl who "hangs out with her friends at the mall and spends time on Facebook." Wow. Wherever you have your children educated, I hope your expectations for them are higher than that. I have nothing against either of those activities in themselves, but is that really all that defines "normal" here? "Whew, at least I haven't ruined my child by homeschooling her! I'm so glad she's good at wasting time just like everybody else!"

Just like everybody else. Maybe that's part of the real issue here. I wonder if some of the anxiety about homeschooling is that we grow people outside the mold. I'm not saying homeschooling is perfect, or that those who homeschool are, either. In general, though, kids who are homeschooled are allowed to think, learn, and develop outside the box, and that might mean they approach life differently at each stage of life. That might mean that hanging out at the mall all the time might not seem all that worthwhile. Please understand that I'm not saying this is only true of homeschoolers. There are public school kids who think outside the box, who express individuality, who seek and pursue a more purposeful existence. What I'm saying is that the system doesn't encourage that, and that I wonder if some of the skepticism about homeschooling comes from fear that homeschoolers might be different from "everybody else." It's easier to understand (and control?) normal if the system keeps it at a pretty boring baseline; does homeschooling (or any kind of thinking outside the confines of the mainstream educational system) continually threaten this understanding?

Finally, here's the thing: Homeschoolers tend to spend time explaining and defending ourselves against this stigma that we're not "normal" (even though, as I've already mentioned, studies and articles keep coming out saying that - surprise! - we do pretty well entering society). Sometimes, though, I think we should just admit that we're not actually aiming for the "normal" of "everybody else." Don't get me wrong - I know what is meant by "socially awkward, religiously dogmatic, and ill-prepared for the real world." I know what kind of people it refers to, and yes, there are some homeschoolers like that (just like there are social misfits, and worse, in the public school population, let's not forget). However, in some ways, we may always have those things said about us, and that may not be a bad thing.

-Since we want our children to rise above petty sub-cultures created by unrealistic age divisions, and we encourage them to challenge the social mores of a corrupt culture, that may be understood as "socially awkward."

-Since we teach our children a worldview based on the absolute truth of God's Word, even if we present it with gentleness and respect rather than arrogance, and encourage them to have the same, they will probably be accused of being "religiously dogmatic".

-Since we, in all of the above, encourage them not to "conform...to the the pattern of this world" we rather hope that they will be "ill-prepared" to be comfortable in it, and that they will instead be mindful of the world to come. And in their time here, we hope they won't just accept what "everybody else" says and does, but that they will challenge it, always seeking and pursuing real truth, real purpose, real worth. In doing so, they might achieve great things, rather than just ordinary.

(Am I saying public school parents can't have these goals? NO! But this is my blog, and I can only speak about our goals as homeschooling parents. So take it as that, and not as an accusation of parents who make other schooling choices. Please!)

And what about socialization? I've often wondered why this question, which seems to have been answered rather definitively time and again and thus is outdated, keeps being asked. Then I realized that maybe they're not just talking about the opportunity and ability to interact with people in our society (because check and check - we've got all that covered). Maybe they're referring to the training of a docile worker class. In that case, they're absolutely right - there is a lack of socialization in homeschooling, and furthermore, I don't want it!

With this potentially inflammatory statement, I'm signing off!