Monday, August 31, 2009

Ouch

Last week was a stressful week, and because Dave hurt a knee at work and had to drive the van to and from work until later in the week (because his truck is a stick shift), we were stuck at home for most of it, which didn't help matters. By Friday afternoon, we simply HAD to get out and do something, and we decided on a library outing. Not the most exciting thing, but we needed something close and free - it was all we could think of, and the kids weren't complaining about the choice.

But when you've allowed little ones to get cabin fever - well, the results can be disastrous when you finally let them out into public again. The boys were a little rambunctious in the children's area, but nothing outside the norm, thankfully, so I thought it was going pretty well. It was when we needed to check out that things really went haywire. We got in line at the check-out, and something snapped. Chase saw an open area, and went running into it, followed by Ryan. I rounded them up quickly and got back in line, then was almost immediately called to the counter, at which distraction the boys took off again. They made a lap around the magazine shelves. They did, I admit it. I sent Aimee and Drew to get them, which they did with some success, and I tried to finish our business as soon as possible. But we had holds, and then there was a question of how many books could go on each....and then we had to decide which books not to get, since we had too many, which prompted some dismay (and not-so-nice behavior) among the older kids... who wouldn't then go catch Chase...who was working on another lap around the shelves., laughing gleefully. It wasn't acceptable library behavior, I know, but I honestly was trying to wrap things up as soon as possible. The librarian, at any rate, wasn't hurrying (bless her - she's a nice lady), which either meant she wasn't very perturbed by what was going on behind me, or maybe she wasn't aware. I don't know - I just hoped she and all the other library staff realized it was an aberration for us. But apparently that wasn't true of at least one patron, who stormed up to the counter to inform me - loudly - that my kids were running all over the place and I need to get them under control. Fortunately, Chase happened to be right in front of me, and I snatched him up, barely able to respond to the indignant woman, and just glad that we were able to get ourselves out in short order.

I was really displeased with the kids, some of whom should have known better, and I was really angry at the rudeness of the woman, who couldn't crisply but more politely intercept the kids and tell them to get back to where they were supposed to be (which would have served her purpose and mine), but instead felt obliged to announce to everyone within earshot that I was a bad mother. Which of course made me feel more than a little mortified. I made a point of telling the kids that even though their behavior was wrong, I wasn't worried about what one rude adult said about it, but it still cast a pall over the beginning of my weekend. I disciplined the kids later according to age and range of misbehavior (except for Chase, who fell asleep as soon as I put him into the car seat, and honestly, how can you punish a toddler for having been giddy with exhaustion?), and I was glad, at least, that I didn't overreact and punish them based on my level of embarrassment, which, let's face it, was high.

She was rude and unhelpful! I keep telling myself that, but I did spend time over the weekend pondering over whether my mothering had gotten slack, and where I might need to improve, and whether I have the nerve to go into the library again for some time!

3 comments:

Hannah said...

Yeah, ouch is right! How mortifying! I really wish people would just mind their own beeswax in a situation like that, or at LEAST approach the situation from a how-can-I-be-helpful mindset. Maybe it's been too long since she had own kids?!
P.S. If it makes you feel any better, over the weekend I was admonished by a Hobby Lobby cashier (a dead ringer for Tammy Faye Bakker, mind you) for not having the patience of Job. She literally preached me a mini-sermon. I felt about two years old. All because I told her I was glad she'd gotten some backup (for a while there was a ridiculous line b/c only one register was open -- on a Saturday afternoon!).

Jenny said...

I have a HARD time not letting people like that totally ruin my day! And having a child with pretty significant issues like I do, I get those looks and comments more than I would like. :( Did the woman in question have any kids??

Courtney said...

Very upsetting, indeed! I have been there-I would have been steaming! (at the person, not the children)
I am behind in my blog commenting lately, but I wanted to let you know that we are studying the Civil War also (well, the entire 1800's American History) and when we studied it several years ago we really enjoyed reading "Behind Rebel Lines", a story about a young female spy. You may have already heard of it.

I enjoyed reading what you wrote about the birth experiences. We do tend to swing way to one side or the other-it's interesting. I think I have actually been on both sides! But, now I've settled somewhat comfortably near the middle.