We have our homeschool co-op on Friday mornings, and it's one of the highlights of the week for the kids. We've done it for a couple years now, and while it used to start at 9:30, this year, it starts at 9:15, with "Assembly."
We have never yet made it to Assembly.
We haven't had a problem getting there by 9:30, and fifteen minutes isn't that much of a difference, so I don't know what the problem is. It doesn't matter what time we get up, or what measures we try to take to get there fifteen minutes earlier, but we just can not make it. Yesterday was particularly frustrating, because one of the kids was ready to go, and it looked like we were going to make it, but our getting-into-the-van preparations fell apart, and that one child was rather upset to find that once again, we pulled in at 9:30, almost on the dot.
What I'm getting at here is those getting-into-the-van preparations. Often it's like there's a rule book kids share among themselves, and this section is entitled, "How to Ensure You Never Get Anywhere on Time (bonus - Drive Your Mom Nuts!)". If you remember my "How to Make Your Mom Go Crazy" posts, it's from the same rule book, I'm positive. And this section goes something like this:
*this works best when every child in the house cooperates!
1. Ignore your mom when she tells you cheerfully it's time to get up.
2. When she comes in again, say something about it being too early.
3. When she comes in again and insists you get up, ask her why she's in such a bad mood already.
4. Get up, but wander to the couch or to another bed and settle down with a book. Better yet, turn on the TV, or get totally engrossed in the preschool program that's already on. Don't peel your eyes away from that cute cartoon, by any means. You might accidentally find yourself getting something useful done.
5, Slowly meander back to your room when she insists you GET DRESSED NOW. When she comes to check on your progress fifteen minutes later, be sitting on your bed, preferably with a book again. When she asks you why you aren't dressed, get offended and protest that you have nothing at all to wear.
6. When she finds clothes for you, tell her why they don't fit or feel uncomfortable, or why you're just not in the mood for those particular items today. Unfortunately, she will probably threaten to dress you herself if you don't get up and put those clothes on that instant, so your stalling on this point will be concluded - UNLESS you are a preschooler, in which case you can prolong this phase by throwing yourself on the floor and screaming about how you can't wear clothes that are "poky," the wrong color, or just...clothes. Do this for as long as you have a voice.
7. When your mom, pretty exasperated at this point, tells everyone to get shoes and anything and everything else they need to be ready to leave, assure her that you're all ready to go (this will apply later)
8. Ignore her when she tells you repeatedly that there are breakfast foods on the table, and if you want to eat, you should do so NOW. (Again, this will come in handy later!)
9. Have one person ask her if you're ever going to ready to go, or if you're going to be late AGAIN. Have this person do this on a loop, while the rest of you continue to proceed as slowly as possible.
10. When she finally has you all downstairs, wait until she says, "Okay, let's get in the car," before you do any one - or more! - of the following: a) start getting something to eat (see rule 8), b)tell her that your shoes are broken and you don't have anything else, so how are you going to run in shoes with broken soles? And is she ever going to buy anything new for you? c) tell her that you don't know WHERE your shoes are. (see rule 7).
11. If you choose "c", say you're really sorry you told her you told her you had them. What you meant was that you were pretty sure you knew where they were, but now you have no idea! Pretend to look all over for them, but insist you can't find them. Make sure they're either in a really obvious place, or have been absconded by elves. Either one will produce great results in driving your mom to her wit's end.
12. If she finally does get you all to the car, all of you stand outside it arguing about seating arrangements. Discuss loudly how many times you had a particular seat versus how many times someone else did. This will do it! You will probably be running late, or really pushing it, and your mom will be past reason at this point.
13. Oh sorry - one more thing. When you're finally on the way, say, "What time is [event you're trying to get to]? What?? We're going to be late!" And then ask her why she's so touchy about you "just asking a simply question."
Works every time!
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