Homeschooling is a Breeze...and Sometimes a Hurricane

I have talked to a few people recently who are on the fence about homeschooling. When it comes down to it, they generally want to know if it's easier than it seems, or as hard as they imagine, so I thought I would try to address that question. The answer, truthfully, is...both. And here are a few reasons why (my fellow homeschool moms can feel free to add their own thoughts):

Why it's Easier Than You Think:

1. It isn't - or shouldn't be - anything like bringing a classroom experience home. I am not a teacher by nature (no, really), and the thought of having to teach everything all day long, all while trying to keep just my energetic kids in their seats really does sound dreadful. A few moms I know DO enjoy teaching. They enjoy lesson plans and overseeing a structured sort of learning. That's perfectly fine, but it's absolutely not necessary for an enjoyable homeschooling experience. I know some other moms who don't do any kind of planning whatsoever, and that's great for them, too. I've read about some truly unschooling homeschoolers who have gone on to college and have done just fine. But I think most of us are somewhere in the middle - we have a master plan, but the learning experience goes best when it takes off by itself. It's almost a living thing, and it should be allowed to grow and thrive naturally. For us, that means lots of reading and lots (and lots) of play. It means that learning just happens all the time, and that the part we call "school" is pretty much just a check in to make sure things are progressing. And to do some things like grammar, which my kids wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole if I didn't drag them to it periodically kicking and screaming. Ahem.

2. You don't have to know everything and be able to teach it to homeschool. Most people I know are afraid they just couldn't possibly teach math, or whatever, and all those people should know that homeschool curriculum abounds. That's not even the right word for it. There's so much of it there's probably too much of it. But whether you're laid back and confident, or unsure of yourself and want everything spelled out (seriously, it's called a scripted lesson plan), it exists for you. There are even some courses that are taught by DVD, so you don't have to do much of anything at all, at least not more than you would already do in assisting a child with homework. A word of caution: there are several online options that are offered by the public schools. Certainly these could be used for good, but it seems that often when first-time homeschoolers try it, thinking it will be a good intermediate option until they are ready to step out on their own, the workload is so overwhelming that it makes homeschooling look like the hardest thing in the world. There's a lot of paperwork and time involved, and while that may have a place, it isn't what learning at home has to look like.

3.You ARE completely qualified to be your child's teacher. You already are! Don't assume there's a sudden switch at age 5 that renders your child beyond your ability to teach. There's nothing magical about school. It's an artificial learning environment, and, in my opinion, the best schools and the best teachers are the ones that replicate the kind of environment that a child would receive at home - a flexible, nurturing, personalized learning experience, where the child is freest to learn and to be. So if we think about it that way, you are the default. If you send your child to school, it should be because YOU have decided to outsource. So you don't really have to "decide" to homeschool - you have been doing it from birth. It really is that easy.

But, of course, just like parenting is a natural thing, and your are qualified to parent your own children, homeschooling can be incredibly hard.

Why It Sometimes IS the Hardest Thing in the World:

1. It's you. And only you. All the time. Of course, there are support groups and co-ops and homeschooling friends - all priceless resources. But when you're having a personality clash with a child, or struggling with how to provide motivation, or just wanting to take your little ones to the park and do not much of anything at all, you're the beginning and the end of the line. When you get to the end of your rope...you have to make the rope a little longer. I don't really like sharing this with parents interested in homeschooling, because it's like confirming their worst fears. But this doesn't have to be the game changer. Marriage can be hard. Caring for a newborn is hard. Life can be hard! But that doesn't mean it isn't worth it.

2. It's messy. You have to sacrifice a certain sense of order and having it all together. A good school day, at least with several kids in the house, means your house will probably look like a herd of buffalo stampeded through it. Sorry.

3. It's loud, and everyone is together (almost) all of the time. There are things you won't be able to do during the day, at least while your kids are young, that your non-homeschooling friends can do. And while you're home, the kids are always there, making a mess (see point #2) and a lot of noise. But again, is this a problem, or is this the norm? Somehow we've been convinced that it's a sacrifice, and just having that perspective makes it very hard to bear for some people. If you're going through your days, weeks, and months feeling like you're going above and beyond, giving way more than a parent is "supposed" to, then I'm sure homeschooling would in fact be too hard. But if you believe that you are supposed to be responsible for your child's education, that it is normal for a family to spend days (all day and every day) together, and that it's the deviations from that that are the real choices (in which you have to weight the pros and cons and consider the sacrifices involved), then the hardest thing in the world is the easiest, most natural thing in the world at the same time.

So I try to share the truth with those interested in homeschooling, from the joys down to the frustrations, but I encourage them to weigh all of it without fear.If you decide to send your children to school, don't let it be because you think you just can't teach your own children. There may be all kinds of valid reasons for a variety of education choices, but none of them should be based on fear. God gave you your children, and he wired them to learn. If you believe this, than you absolutely can be with them and teach them. And once you seize this conviction, this thing that is loud and messy and sometimes so very difficult is just your life, and a life you wouldn't trade for anything, because the reward is immeasurably great.