More on "How to Make Your Mom Go Crazy"

I posted something on this subject last fall. But here are some more helpful hints for how to to really drive your mom crazy. And again, this works best as a cooperative effort - the more siblings the better.

1. Go in and out the backdoor about 150 times (or more, if you can physically manage it). This time, make sure you hold the door open wide enough so that each time you let the indoor cat outside, and the outdoor dog inside. It's best if they cross paths chaotically, and you get bonus points if the dog stays in long enough to eat several of the pumpkin chocolate chip muffins your mom made this morning.

2.Make sure you reference Star Wars at every possible opportunity. Talk about it, argue about it, share with her every single piece of trivia there is to know about Star Wars. It's great if you do this during school time, too. (Such as when your mom asks you if anything sounds familiar about a representative type of government. Your face should light up, so that she thinks you're going to tell her about the United States government, the one you've been learning about since the middle of last school year - except you should say, "Oh yes! You mean like the representatives of Naboo!")

3.When she sends you to your disastrously messy room with instructions to PLEASE clean it up, go in there and stay behind your locked door for about half an hour - but don't actually pick anything up. When she finally asks you to open the door, act completely surprised and offended if she observes that nothing has actually changed. Insist, tearfully, that you DID clean up!

4.After you've played with - and left - a number of things inside the house, go out into the shed and rummage through all the interesting things out there. Take out all the gardening tools, leave the shed door wide open, then play with a fishing pole you found - make sure there's a hook on the end, and then when someone gets hurt, act like you didn't know that might be a bad idea. Do not go back and close the shed door, even if she asks you a couple times.

5.While she's out there with you, a younger sibling should get right to work tearing multiple pages out of a $40 Star Wars encyclopedia, owned by the library, of course. When you hear her reaction when she comes back in to discover this, follow her in and proceed to ask the most trivial question you can think of. Someone else can then ask repeatedly if she's going to have to pay for the book. When she finally answers that she thinks it can be repaired - but still appears to be highly annoyed about the whole situation - go on and on about how you really wished she would have to buy it, because it's such a great book. Maybe even offer some more Star Wars trivia that you learned from said book.

6.Plead for a snack (everybody should chime in). Before you're even finished eating the snack she gives you, hold up another food item and ask if you can eat that, too.

7.Ask to play the Wii when outside it is in the 70's and the skies are blue and sunny. If she says no, ask about the computer, or the TV, or ANYTHING electronic. When she says something about it being a perfectly beautiful day outside and no we are NOT going to get on anything with a screen, wait five minutes and then ask her again, as if you didn't hear what she said the first time.

Go outside some, but keep coming back in and repeating the above... also keep letting the dog in and the cat out...and by all means, keep asking for something to eat (insist there's no way you can wait until dinner).

Eventually she will call your dad and ask him about WHEN HE IS COMING HOME exactly. She will take you all out to the front yard to wait for him. But just when you think you've really got her and she'll finally go off the deep end...she'll take a few deep breaths when he gets home, go in with you all, and serve you tacos for dinner (and pound cake for dessert!). And during dinner she might actually be happy when she tells you about the accomplice she's going to give you on or around the 4th of July.