For this post, I am looking for some feedback, so please do submit your thoughtful comments! :-)
Drew has always been...let's see...sensitive to emotions created by winning and losing games and other competitions. I admit at times I have been alarmed by what seemed to me to be the behavior of a sore loser, and I have tried to instruct and correct when I thought neccessary - but it's really been in one ear and out the other. When he starts a game, or even just a fun family comeptition (such as, "let's see how fast you can put away your bikes"), whether he wins or loses becomes THE most important thing in the world. He has reasonable reactions when he wins, but when he loses...let's just say it's way over the top. Recently this has carried over even into computer games - he will end up screaming in frustration at the computer, ultimately losing his computer time, not to mention, of course, any sense of fun in playing. Now, in all fairness to him, I do understand that Aimee is somewhere at the heart of this. She is older, taller, and faster, and this usually means that right now she comes out on top in whatever game they play. She also realizes this, and uses it boost her self-confidence, engaging him in competitions she knows she'll win. She also constantly lets him know in various little ways how much better she is at just about everything than he is - she is usually very casual and matter-of-fact, rather than just mean-spirited, about this, but I still try to explain to her how it is not very kind. At any rate, surely this contributes to Drew's emotions on this subject at least in part. That said, he does need to learn how to play games nicely, and to lose with grace, and l put it to you, friends and readers, to lend your suggestions!
2 comments:
Well, I don't have the answer for you, because we deal with this same issue with Ian to a certain extent -- he gets very put out when he loses, and tends to sulk.
ONE thing I have done is to sort of set up artificial losses on my part, like, I don't know, a "race" with the car next to me on the road or something, where I can either model good losing behavior, OR, really ham up the part of the sore loser. I'll pretend-cry, fall on the floor (if I'm not driving), and whine at top volume about how "it's not FAIIIIIR." (I make sure to do this at times when he's not doing it, in other words a separate occasion, so I'm not making fun of him.) I'm not sure which way is more effective, but the second way sure gets his attention. And I can see in his eyes that he's getting it.
sorry, i have nothing. but will be awaiting the comments of others, as again, you have just described tyler to a t.
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