I don't think I've ever gone three entire months without posting something. Usually, after some time being away, I say that I haven't been short of ideas, just time - but this time, it really has been a dry spell. A very, very dry spell. For whatever reason(s), I was really burnt out towards the end of our school year, which often happens, I know, but this time I felt like I had been burned to a crisp. Just completely fried. And I suppose that's what happened to all creative thought, too- burned up, dried out. I keep repeating those kinds of phrases because I don't know how else to describe it. I haven't been depressed or frantic; this kind of "burned out" has been the neutralizing kind. Just fried. I think I said that already.
So moviving on.
I didn't know how to fix it, and I was a little alarmed that a six-week break from all things school hadn't renewed me in the least. The idea of even planning for the next year made me want to crawl into a hole and hide. I had originally planned to resume studies when Dave and I returned from taking a quiz team to International Bible Quizzing finals in Canada, but as that week approached, I had done absolutely nothing to put away things from the previous school year and to get ready for the next. And then there was the fact that our landlord had cheerfully told us we had thirty days to be out of our house, so it didn't appear that anything was going to be done anyway.
So I poured myself into preparing for Internationals and all that entailed - and from the very moment we checked in, it was a little like returning home. I have said often enough here how much I love Bible quizzing and how important it was to me as a quizzer. It's important to me now for all those reasons and more - because now I have children who are involved. At any rate, at the first coaches' meeting, I got a little teary-eyed - the first sign of something other than crispy, burned-out dryness. And the next morning, I went for a run, and made my way down to the lake, and cried. Not for sadness or for joy - just for release.
A few more tears of all kinds found their way out that week. It was like being in a healing coccoon, and yet not a completely sheltered one. It was invigorating and inspiring - the way Bible quizzing has always been for me. Oh - and there were the quizzers, too. I'm sure they had a great week, too, since it was for them, after all.
And so I returned to the reality of packing for a place we don't have yet - although I've been sick since being home, and have had not the slightest amount physical energy to do anything that needs to be done. (By the same token, though, I haven't had any energy to be anxious, either, so perhaps it's a blessing. ) But, while this post was neither very creative nor particularly encouraging, I think there are signs I'm beginning to emerge from that dried up place.
One is that I'm in full throttle for quizzing - so if you live anywhere near me, beware. I believe in quizzing, for so many reasons. I believe in it for kids, but it still does so much good for me even now! I wrote in January about the cost of quizzing, and whether it's worth it - Adding Up the Cost. Internationals costs even more, in both time and money, and yet it's still worth every last penny, every last second, if for no other reason than that it just bathes these kids - and the coaches and officials with them - in God's Word, straight up, pulling no punches. That can't fail to have effect, even -especially? - for tired homeschooling mamas who don't know what their problem is or how to fix it.
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