We've read a couple of children's books by this title lately, and I'm sure there are quite a few with that name, because it's a cute thought - a creature who wants to be loved, but is just so darn prickly. It's also a familiar concept here, as it probably is in many families. We have more than one child in ours who can become rather porcupine-y, and in those times, often exasperated beyond reason, my first response can be to run away from the quills, or to force the quills away (which rarely works, by the way). But I know somewhere in my why are you behaving this way - addled mind, I know the porcupine just needs love. So how in the world do you hug a porcupine?
You just do. You just take a breath, say "I love you," with no conditions, lectures, or corrections, and give that porcupine a tight squeeze. Sometimes the quills soften instantly, sometimes it takes a little while longer. But you hug the porcupine.
Now, how to hug this sort of character....
Still working on that!
(just kidding - same principle applies...if you can catch him)
2 comments:
:-) Yeah.
Am reading a book that you'd probably enjoy, a propos of this subject. "Families Where Grace Is In Place." About to blog about it.
Anne,
I read the last few posts from your blog and can so relate. In our family there is a child or two that seems to be the disproportionate receiver of correction. As a mother, that is a heartbreaking realization. Their behavior/actions/lack of forethought create the frequent trouble. But at the same time, I feel like they know they make a lot of mistakes which makes me want to help guide their behavior while being careful to protect their feelings/heart. As a mother that is a hard place to be. It helps to hear other mothers sharing similar struggles. Sometimes I try to overlook the little stuff when I feel he/she has been reprimanded for substantial things lately. And I agree these porcupines need to be hugged. Remembering that the "easy" kids don't try harder to be easy they are just bent that way helps me to be more patient as I remember that this child isn't trying to be difficult, he/she is just bent that way. They have different strengths and different weaknesses. Anyway, thanks for writing. This can be a big source of mother guilt for me and it helps to read your similar struggles. I hope you are enjoying your sister's visit and that everyone is healthy now.
Jenny
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