Choosing Faith Over Fear

I mentioned in a previous post that if we had a family theme for the year, it would be "faith over fear." When the turning of the new year also brought us back to more or less "formal" learning - okay, mostly "less!" - we tried to continue to apply that theme to our learning as well, and even more purposefully than ever. Choosing faith in any situation is not always easy, and choosing faith over fear in the area of education is certainly one of those times. In the first place, fear seems to come naturally when it comes to parenting. We want to do only the right things when it comes to raising our children, and often, it's hard to know what the right thing is. In the second place, education, and more specifically, public education, has become an idol in our society. As such, it has an insatiable appetite for time, money, and other resources, and, like all false gods, it rules by feeding fear.





After all, what can you do against claims that a good education is the foundation for personal and national success and prosperity? How can you deny anything to a system that claims to provide this, and how in the world can you, one set of parents with no teacher education and vastly limited resources compared to the system (limited - ha! just now I'm out of just about everything, even paper!), possibly imagine to offer such an education to your children. I think this is what gives rise to one of the most common questions we still hear, despite the fact that homeschoolers have proven themselves again and again - "How do you know if they're learning what they're supposed to be learning? How do you know if they're on track with other kids their age?" I posted some time ago about how a relative even challenged me with, "So you think you'll be able to teach EVERYTHING they need to know in high school?" Quite a tall order, that. Studies come out periodically assuring us (time after time) that homeschoolers are, in fact, doing just fine, but sometimes even these can bind us to the system of fear-mongering. One asserted that structured homeschoolers do just as well as, and even a little better than, public school students, but unstructured homsechooling leaves kids behind. I think that's supposed to be reassuring, but in reality, I think it just feeds the fear and adds to the pressure we already feel. Structured? What exactly is that supposed to mean, and how many of us homeschool moms feel we're offering a structured educational environment? And here's a study showing that the unstructured learning that's probably happening in most of our homes is bad. So I think those kind of studies are probably a way for the system to acknowledge (grudgingly) the success of homeschooling, while still maintaining itself as the standard.





Embrace a new standard.



I think that's the first step in choosing faith over fear in the education of our children, because

Fear tells lies, while faith tells the truth.






Among the lies we allow ourselves to believe are that the government system is the standard, and that we are ill-equipped in resources and training. The truth is that the system in relatively new in the grand scheme of things, and that it isn't doing such a terrific job. After all, it gives itself a "C" average nationally. It demands enormous resources of all kinds, but isn't delivering glowing results. Those who have their children in public schools can't - and don't, because of course I know some great parents who are involved and responsible - just toss their kids in and let the system do its job. It always seems to me that they have to do a fair amount of work to make sure that their children are getting what they need. So the truth is that every parent must be involved in their children's education, and furthermore, that God requires us to teach and train them. The truth is that if he asks us to do it, then we're perfectly qualified to do so. Another wonderful truth is that God created us to discover and learn. Babies learn at amazing rates. They don't just cease when they reach kindergarten age, and become a blank slate, on which you must etch perfectly timed skills and knowledge. It's amazing to me what they continue to learn, with minimal instruction. For instance, I remember being worried about the right time to teach Aimee to read and to do things like learn how to use scissors. Believe me, I didn't have to teach my current (almost) five year-old how to use scissors! And he's learned his letters, numbers, and a whole host of other things on the fly, certainly without sitting down with me for any amount of time at all. He's just immersed in a world where it's all around him, and his perfectly designed brain is picking it up and mastering it just as God planned it.





Obviously we have our fair share of days, weeks, and months, in which we feel "behind," or feel like we haven't done much of anything at all, but even in those times, I have to remember that




Fear highlights failure, while faith sees things that perhaps can't actually yet be seen!







Education based on faith rather than fear has to look toward the long term rather than the short. It has to remember that a nine year-old boy who would probably fail a timed math test but can answer the questions correctly aloud from a math lesson isn't failing, but will ultimately be a success. And when I send him to practice his violin, and instead he gets distracted picking a song out by ear on the piano, fear says, "He can't stay focused! How is he every going to do such-and-such-and-such if he can't follow instructions??" But faith says, "He has a great ear for music, and he's unafraid to use it! What a great skill to have" (And then maybe after the hundredth time he's played that particular tune, it reminds him to go ahead and get to his violin practice.) He's nine. There's still plenty of time to learn how to follow instructions blindly. But obviously our children's shortcomings aren't the only failures that keep us bound to fear. Those days in which we stay in our pajamas until almost lunchtime, and don't get around to getting our kids started on school until later when we're doing Latin in the car on the way back from Chic-fil-a (ahem) can make us panic that we've wasted time, we're behind, we failed the day, etc. etc. etc. But faith sees that the kids played Ivanhoe outside in the beautiful weather, and read from The Adventures of Robin Hood, and packed for a trip to South America. Fear says that if they don't know how to be structured, organized, or know how to take tests, they won't be able to go to college and then become productive citizens. (In my experience, fear is always the voice saying , "What if...?" That's not from God.) Faith says that war games and creative play foster good relationship skills and problem solving abilities, that reading good literature is joining in the Great Conversation, and that going to South America with your father for a week is an invaluable experience on all kinds of learning levels. Actually, this is another time that faith rejects the false standard put before us by the system, and defines success differently. I was encouraged in this a couple months ago in one of our homeschool moms' meetings. One of the moms was talking about a friend of hers, who had used unschooling in the education of her children. They read for hours each day and did little structured schooling. It had been a good experience, and the kids were now grown and enjoying their respective places in society. Another mom asked, "What about things like math?" The first mom replied, "Well, my friend will admit that her kids aren't great at Algebra, but her oldest is a ballet dancer in Europe. He has an exciting, satisfying life." I would rather have my children grow up to be vibrant, creative people than just to train them to be students who are good at worksheets.






For the record, I think math is a worthwhile pursuit. We are a little more structured than that particular mom, and, frankly, a lot less structured than some other families. But I have slowly been learning over the years to avoid comparing myself even with other homeschool families. Not only are there a variety of styles that work for different people, and most of them not better than the others - just different - but also, I think that

Fear marginalizes, while faith....doesn't.






We marginalize ourselves when we feel sure we're the only ones who do or don't [fill in the blank], and often we're marginalized by others, when they say (well-meaning though they may be), "Oh, I could never homeschool. You must be so organized, patient, etc, etc,. That has never encouraged me, and I doubt most moms are encouraged by it. Rather, I think it makes us feel more like failures, because we know we aren't more organized or patient than anyone else, and is it really such a hard thing that normal people can't do it? But that's how fear rules, by that voice in the back of your mind that says, "It really is too hard, and you really aren't good enough for it, like the tiny minority of super-organized moms who are." Faith believes that anyone can choose to homeschool, and that it looks different for everyone (the truth is that some people are incredibly organized and structured, which is great for them), but that's just fine.




Really, it's all the same thing, I guess. Faith believes that we CAN, that our children CAN, that God created them to learn, and that he gave us the mandate and the ability to teach them. We don't anyone else's approval or affirmation (although, also for the record, we do comply with the law, as it generally better to be on the right side of it than not!). But as I wrap this up, please know that I'm contemplating a day at the end of which I thought, "Maybe I should be afraid, That was pretty bad." In fact, the whole of January wasn't really what I hoped it would be, and while I keep thinking I'm just "getting into the swing of things," I realized recently that the school is more than halfway through. This IS my "swing of things," for better or for worse. So no one should take this as a treatise from an expert (as if they would in the first place!), and in fact, I suppose you should all take this with a grain or two of salt, since we haven't graduated anyone yet. It's entirely possible this whole thing will go down in spectacular flames and I'll look back one day and see all my glaring mistakes and failures....



Faith over fear, faith over fear!