I didn't think you would check the comments for my last post again, Hannah, so this is for you!
I think a real example of the "natural-birth extremism" mentioned in my previous post would be if I had told you I was being induced and you had promptly given me a completely unsolicited account of all the dangers of induction. I have seen that happen to other people, and I do think, though it may be simply my non-confrontational personality talking, that such an approach is a little strong at the very least. But as I think on it now, I'm guessing you were probably probing gently to see if I was making my own decision, rather than blindly following a doctor's "order," and I don't want you to feel you have to apologize for it! At the time, I thought the lines were more black and white, that there were two camps in the birthing community and that neither side could really understand the other. I think many people have this same mentality, and it fosters the mistaken notion that a woman who gives birth naturally is "superwoman" and not quite like most other women when it comes to birth. What I had hoped to highlight, in recounting the conversation, was that attitude on my part. I believed at that time, whether I would have said the exact words, was that natural birth was impossible for me. I believed I was in the other camp, the "normal" birth experience camp, and that since my approach was so different, my decisions and actions wouldn't make much sense to you, whom I knew to be in the other camp, even though I knew you to be entirely well-meaning. Well, I was partly right, in that we were coming from different approaches, but I believe I was wholeheartedly wrong in thinking that there are only two sides to the story. I know I was wrong, because later I experienced birth in an entirely different way, and the result was, I believe, a sense of understanding, empathy, and sisterhood combined with a passion for wanting other women on the cusp of motherhood to be empowered and not, quite frankly, robbed of something God gives only to them. So I try not to be abrasive or to sound remotely judgemental as I encourage other women to make informed decisions that are their own, but I know that anything I say may be taken as words coming from someone with a superhuman tolerance for pain to an earthbound woman, as I, unjustly, belived your position to be. I think that's unavoidable to some degree. But I don't think it would be right to say nothing at all - if we see someone in imminent possible danger, it might not do any good to throw a list of scary facts at her , but a gentle reminder to think before she acts on such an important occasion is probably well within reason. Had you told me more plainly what I might be walking into, it would have been more than the doctor ever said and I would have been better informed, but I don't know that I would have believed you...until 24 hours or so later. But your little nudge - "Is this what you want to do?" - was part of a seed that grew into my own birth awareness over the next few years. A good seed!
For the record. I am not superhuman in any way. I did have two natural births after my first highly medicated ones, and I will chronicle them in a few months, but I still have a pretty low tolerance for pain...and for any other kind of inconvenience or discomfort! :-)
2 comments:
Ditto on the low pain tolerance, to the point where IF I were to have another one, I would actually be tempted to chuck the whole natural childbirth thing and go mainstream! (That is a SECRET between you, me, and whoever else reads your comments, LOL!)
Isn't it funny how our thinking evolves with experience, and our hearts get larger? Thanks for giving me the benefit of the doubt!
It is interesting how every birth is different with it's own set of circumstances. And, how we as women tend to classify ourselves by our births. I am more on the "less intrusions the better" side, but I have had my share of necessary, and some not so necessary, interventions.
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