Yesterday was a better day than any we had last week, then for some reason things took a sharp downward turn around dinnertime, and at 8:30, when Dave called to say he was just a few minutes away, I was putting the kids (in their pajamas!) in the car to go for a drive. I just needed to be able to sit still for a few minutes, and to have them secured so THEY would be sitting still. It was very soothing, in fact, and Dave (who was really worried about me) did most of the laundry later in an attempt to prevent some sort of breakdown, I guess! This morning I considered the verse about anyone needing wisdom asking for it, and so I prayed fervently for wisdom. If there are some things that need to change around here, I'd like to know which direction to go in, rather than just sitting around feeling like I'm at my limit all the time. I already know that - and I don't want to dwell on it. (And perhaps the reality is that I just need to be stronger.) I'd like to know what else I should do instead.
BUT in the meantime, as I told the kids this morning, after a bad day, we wake up in the morning and start over. We are learning about the fruit of the Spirit, and so again this morning, we read over that verse and prayed together that we would each have love, joy, peace, etc., and it was a good day overall. Dave is gone tonight, and bedtime was a little stressful, but as Ryan was trying to go to sleep (correction - as I was trying to get Ryan to go to sleep) at one point he suddenly stood up and said, "I love you!" It was the first time he had every said that to me on his own, and it was so spontaneous and genuine and sweet it melted me in that instant. But as someone said, "There is no child so beautiful that is mother is not happy to see him asleep," or something like that, and I am relieved that all four of my beauties are sleeping now. :-)
2 comments:
I think the quote is "There never was child so lovely; but his mother was glad to get him asleep." It's by Emerson and is one of my favorites. The only other quote I know by heart is "When rage invades my burning breast, restict my tongue, it is a beast." It is by Proust.
Those "I love you"s are so wonderful...and sometimes kids just seem to know when we NEED to hear them. I remember one night when I was having a horrible day, Henry looked at me and told me that I was his favorite friend. Just those few words turned the day around (not completely, of course, but it changed my perception of the situation enough that I could handle it so much better).
What an awesome quote!
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